Schizophrenia, drugs, and death are a chapter of my life I'd pushed aside for a long time because after my mother passed from Alzheimer's and dementia, I didn't want to deal with my mentally ill older brother anymore. When she was alive, I only tolerated his presence in my life because of the love she bore him. I had so many emotions about him and how his mental illness, drug abuse, criminal behavior, years and years of institutionalization, and absolute refusal of any help had torn my family apart since I was eleven years old.