These couple of days of great weather, really have me longing for cookouts, swimming, steamed crabs, fun family times and on and on but I had a few minutes today where my mind was actually clear and the first thought that popped into my head was in those few minutes, there wasn’t a single thing I NEEDED. I was completely content and God help me, I was HAPPY just to be alive! We all have wants, be they about our relationships, our health or even things but in those few precious minutes, I was content right where I was.
I have a great job with people I enjoy working with and I’m also pursuing my life long dream and have reached the first level as an author (Published! Twice!), I had a great lunch, I have a loving and supportive family, wonderful and interesting friends, entertainment, the means to communicate at almost anytime with anyone I need or want to, a roof over my head, clothes on my back and transportation to go where I want or need to.
I also have debt, physical pain daily, I need to lose weight, I don’t get enough rest, I don’t get out as much as I used to, I have some strained relationships and some that sadly, have been completely severed, I’ve nearly lost my home and I could go on all night but the point I’m trying to make is this; just because I choose not to complain and put my problems or aches and pains out for the world to see, does not mean my life is perfect. Those closest to me know what I’ve been through and what I deal with every day of my life but we all go through things and I just don’t feel I want or have to share it with the world. I’m not pretending when I post my joy. I have reached a place in my life finally where I AM joy. Yes, I make no apologies for being a happy person. There were many years that I wasn’t. I choose to celebrate my life; the good the bad and every shade in between and I celebrate your joy as well.
So point-blank, what I’m telling you is just because I don’t put my dirty laundry on blast on social media doesn’t mean my washer is empty. What it means is my washer runs constantly. My washer is my spirit and my soul and it’s removing the stains of regret, personal problems, money problems, aches, pains and failure. The majority of my laundry is due to external issues. Shit gets splattered on me all of the time but why should the whole world have to smell it?
So, this message is for those who look at me and think my life is wonderful because that is what I choose to share. Since I’m feeling open and generous this evening as I sit here with swollen ankles and a backache, please rest assured that NO, my life is as far from perfect as yours but I have chosen to not burden the world with it but rather contribute love, honesty, strength, hope and joy. Although occasionally I may complain about my hair.
Have a good night.